susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum