I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...