help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low