is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
