someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
