How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
