Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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