Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
