Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
