Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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