I think my vagina is haunted
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
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ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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