8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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