so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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