Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
