Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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