I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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