omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
do nipples grow back?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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