he wants to bone in the snuggie
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
