The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
True strength comes from lack of pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize