sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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