either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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