____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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