my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We got so high we made milksteak
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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