Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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