It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
