dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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