my phone needs a breathalizer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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