he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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