at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
