I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize