all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
