Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
