suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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