Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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