Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize