if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
