Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
