Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize