So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
