so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
