I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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