um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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