its not stalking. its research.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
