remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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