I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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