Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize