its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
