She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
