i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
