walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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