thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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