i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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