I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
