Soap is not a condiment
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
