2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
