I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
and you fell through a lawn chair
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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