I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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