.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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