God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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