i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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