i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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