Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
