this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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